Friday, May 25, 2018

My Grief Plan

Originally Posted on my Facebook page Mental Health Moments: January 29, 2018

Grief doesn’t work itself out on its own. You must have a plan!
I have attended griefshare twice and I highly recommend it. Here are a few things I also recommend.
-See a good therapist once a week until you are feeling better and smiling more.
-Go to lunch with a good friend and talk about nothing or something!
-Go for a ride in a convertible with a friend or ride a motorcycle it’s a blast!
-Watch comedy!
-Join a class on something that interests you that meets at least once a week.
-Volunteer doing something helping others.
-Go to church once a week.
-Read books on Spirituality or Christianity or something that interests you. Try not to read books on horror or gore right not... It’s not good for the soul.
-Listen to really good music. I prefer classical music when I’m really feeling down but I have a list of songs that get me going with an up beat when I really need that push. Once again heavy metal doesn’t help me.
-don’t drink too much. A glass of wine now and then is ok but heavy drinking just makes the problem worse.
-Talk to someone!!! After my mom passed away I told everyone I came into contact with that my mom died!! I’m sure there were a few waitresses and grocery clerks who were surprised and not sure how to respond. But it’s ok.
-Keep talking to someone but it’s better to talk to a Pastor, a therapist or a Priest. The waitress and the grocery clerk aren’t qualified. After my mom died I shut down. My boyfriend was tired of hearing it after a few months...
-If the first therapist isn’t right keep looking! I found a “good” Christian therapist or so I thought and he said to me. “you could run my groups, I don’t have anything I could teach you”! I left and felt guilty for not being able to handle my grief. I became so shut down I could not function and became a shell.
Then my Papa died and I became a sobbing mess. It will all come out eventually. Either you will be angry and rage or you will internalize and your emotions will eat your insides out. I began to throw up everything I ate and had very bad sciatica. You will have to deal with your grief eventually. Deal with it proactively.
Grief is a hard road but you can learn to live again. I’m working on it.
Danni Andrew
(C)copyright 2018

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