No one wants to hear what you have to say. It's a cross you bear alone, that is until you enlist the help of a good therapist. You sit down and haltingly, through a very dry throat, you tell your story... certain you won't be heard, or at least you will be told it was at least partially your fault. Imagine your surprise when you hear... "you were raped, it's not your fault"! It's like a knife going through and stabbing deep into your soul. How can this be? For all of these years the guilt has weighed heavily on your shoulders.
That was my story. I was certain I had done something terribly wrong. I should not have gone out to my brothers room, an old travel trailer away from the main house. I was just bored and looking for the rest of the kids. I had found just one of the neighborhood boys, the rest of the kids were somewhere else. He and I were alone. What happened that evening left an indelible mark on my young life and I felt responsible. I have told this story many times and I often wonder when I can stop telling the story. I have been told many times to stop talking about it that no one really wants to hear about it. At first this statement made me angry, now I wish I could stop talking about it. I can't.
I have started posting my story on Facebook with the help of YouTube videos. Here are the links if you are interested in watching them.
1. BPD Hashtag ME Too - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WZklPLTPEg
2. BPD Why Me Too - https://www.youtube.com/edit?ar=1&o=U&video_id=D_gnYFPNqzo
3. BPD Why Me Too Two - https://www.youtube.com/edit?ar=1&o=U&video_id=cf43To18Z2o
4. BPD Why Me Too Three - https://www.youtube.com/edit?ar=1&o=U&video_id=rTakOuGQGho
5. BPD I AM not normal - https://www.youtube.com/edit?ar=1&o=U&video_id=Mnpnjoce5H8
There are five videos here that talk about what happened. Next I am going to start talking about the healing process. I think it is important to talk about the healing process. My book talks about the story, the journey of where I was and the pain of depression and being diagnosed as bipolar but I spent most of writing this book talking about the journey to wellness. That is what is most important is getting to the point where there is a better place in your life. HOPE! There really is hope! This is what is most important. Not what was done to you. Some people carry the pain like a badge of honor, I want to carry the recovery and the hope like an aura of peace and hope. You deserve to know there is hope!
Danni Andrew
Author, Speaker, Artist and one damn good cook!
www.danniandrew.com
Access to all of my books on Amazon.com
https://www.amazon.com/Danni-Andrew/e/B01NA96MHU/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1539560861&sr=8-1
No comments:
Post a Comment